Sianzzz

Don't know why... Feeling kind of tired and lost. Maybe I am really tired. As I look at the dates... I can't help but to say I guess I'm really tired... I can hardly remember anything now. As in remember things which happens in the last five days... Only recollection... was that I received my Ministry Member card last Saturday. It was great...

What I can vividly remember was that I emailed to Sis Gillian my spiritual report, exams this week, yesterday and today. I did not sleep well for the past couple of days etc... That's why I am really tired... Wished I could sleep but... There are still so many things yet done...

God, how I wish I'd be more wise in using time. More wise to know what to say etc...

Today, I just cleared my second debt... Paid for the ring and yes, one load off my shoulders. However, as I look at the stack of debts I am in, I can't help but sigh... and wonder when am I going to pay off those debts, which seems like a mountain for me to climb...

NTUC, AXA life, Kaka, Alex, Samuel and many other various people are some of the people whom I owed money to. Sigh... ah... still have Faith... I did not pay up my installment on time and as a result, I got to pay more than before... Must really use money wisely as time goes...

I really wonder if I've been spiritually attacked... First, sleepless for 3 nights in a row. Then, my phone line got cut off... Then, black out in memory... Unable to recall what I studied for and I am getting tired... Maybe these are self-inflicted persecutions for myself. Nevertheless, I'd still trust in God that He would provide. Oh yes... still have... my assignments to hand up... Four to go...

I really thank God because in a span of 3hrs, I managed to complete an assignment of 2pages. Hmmm... am I really that productive? I guess not... *sob sob*

Back's aching... I really miss God... I wonder... I wonder if He would help me... God, can You hear y prayer? I know You know what I need but will You provide for me? I'm not being lazy... I really am worn out by now... Help me... Can? Please... I need You, not because I am in need but You say that those who calls upon Your name, they shall be saved. To me, I'd perceive it that when I cry out for help, you'll never forsake nor leave me... I really cry out from the very bottom of my heart... God, start to move in my life... Help me get out of debts... I do not want to live in a life of lack and also do not want to live a life of just enough. I want to be a blessing to others too... I want to life in a life of abundance...